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Bang Bang -- Tales of a Life Caught on the Verge of Insanity (but the good kind)
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Time:03:24 pm
Current Mood:calmcalm
damn i havent written in this for a while. i was kind of busy with school, boyfriend, work, real-estate... its a big hassle. but anyways nothing interesting has been happening. everything is pretty much the same. still with albert--- we had our one year anniversary in May... YAY. that was cool. happy about that. nothing else really. just cant wait to finish school. that will be the day. hopefully start law school in 2006. trying to lose some weight and getting braces soon. we'll see ... but for now everything is cool.
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Subject:working
Time:01:26 pm
So my boss removed the internet from my work computer. (i am now using my coworkers...lol..) he claims it takes my attention away from my work. i dont think so. say for instance now, whn he is out of the office and i have nothing to do, what am i supposed to do? its ok. i can always use Mike's. so whatever. anyways, i hadn't written in a while. i have just been so busy between school and work. plus it fels like time is just flying. i am beginning to think the older you get, the faster time passes by. i remember when i was 10 and in school, it would take forever for Christmas break to come around. and now its like it comes flying every time around. i can almost still smell last years lechon and now its christmas again. thanksgiving was nice. i guess the coolest part was that my boyfriend's niece was born on my birthday (nov 24th). that was cute. she is getting so big. i think my honey is kinda ready for the kid thing but i am not. lol.... kids are cute but not yet. too muh work. talking about chritstmas, i need to buy so many gifts. my boyfriend has a big family. and i wouldnt like to leave anyone out of the loop. i think i am going to start with the kids. all that toy buying usually takes some time. --- i am so bored. i dont know what to write. i guess i will get back later. oh yea--- i love my honey. he is the best thing that happened to me this year. by the way, i dont know what i can get him for christmas?
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Subject:this sucks!
Time:03:25 pm
Current Mood:crushedcrushed
Gosh, I dont feel so well. I dont know if its the chicken strips I ate a while ago from McDonalds or the devastating fact that someone that I knew has passed away. I dont still know how I exactly feel about the situation. I feel it isn't fair. How could these things happen? I dont understand. I have all these thoughts going through my head and I dont know how to deal with it. I am tired and I guess I just need a hug. Life is sometimes so hard to understand. Why do things like this happen? Why them? I feel as if life has taken on a drastic turn for me. I feel I am spinning and in the midst of all this uncertainty I cant shake this feeling of vulnerability from my head. I keep trying to focus and think that now they moved to a better place but I cant stop thinking why now? So young, so full of life. They hadnt yet lived their lives, they were just beginning. A new beginning with a bitter ending. I dont feel. I am numb. Life is hard to understand these days. So many things to be afraid of. I think my nerves are on edge. I cant get any sleep in. I find myself afraid of my car, afraid of not saying all I want to say to all of those I care for. When is it going to be over? Can't we at least get a hint? This way we will be somewhat prepared. Prepared to say good bye! Its so hard. This not letting go, it gets complicated. The thing is you never really realize that death is the end, until it happens to someone close to you. Then you realize that they are never going to be here again. No more. Sad. Utter sadness and still afraid. When will I be able to sleep again. I dont know what I fear, I just know I fear. I am afraid. I dont know why. Thankfully my honey holds me. I feel a little safer. But still I dont understand. God is with them I know. I just dont know, thats it. I dont know what is going on but I have this feeling of deep sadness. It doesn't fade. its here with me now.

sisterhood--- this is quite a word. maybe this is what connects me to this girl. the unspoken bonds of a sisterhood we both pledged to. a sisterhood we both lived to love and loved to live with. I guess this is why I feel this sadness. This knot in my gut. Or maybe its the knowledge that it could have been anyone, it could have been me. I feel depressed. I remember her face. I saw her Thursday. I didn't say hi. Maybe its that. I could have been nicer. I was in a hurry, I havent really been active in the chapter. No excuse. I miss her. We were never really that close, but I miss her none the less. She was my sister. Tough times, but still my sister. Not blood-related, but bonded by a sisterhood. A claim to unity and love. A pledge we took together. She was in my pledge class. We went through it together. Now she is no longer with us. Yet her memory remains as vivid within me as if she was standing right here with me now. I can almost look at her face and hear her voice. Bertot is hot! She use to say this. It still rings in my ears. So young--only 19. She had her whole life but now its withered away. She now awaits us in her casket. Cold and lonely. No maybe not that lonely. She has God. He is with her. Right? Rest in peace and may your soul be in heaven with the angels.

in loving memory--- to a sister who is truly going to be missed--- Janelle Bertot -- we love you! i love you!
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Subject:Election Day!
Time:11:49 am
Current Mood:crazycrazy
Today is so crazy. Everyone is running around trying to vote. I am going to vote after work. Maybe that is not such a good idea but I have to vote and that is the only time that I can go. I had no idea so many people actually were going to go out and vote. I guess since this is a contested election everyone wants to make their vote count. lol--- traffic is bad too. Everyone is out and about. Voting time! Hopefully people will make the right choice today. YRFB!
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Current Music:tina turner
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Subject:bored at work
Time:01:59 pm
Current Mood:boredbored
today all the coworkers (women only, men suck--lol) decided to wear all black and masks and stuff to get dressed up for Halloween. It was pretty cool. I wore my black wig which everyone has told me looks awesome. Not good, this was supposed to be a costume! But oh well. Some have even told me I should cut my hair this way. In truth, it isn't an ugly wig. Its actually quite nice but I dont know. I dont think I would do this do to my actual hair. Its too short. I think it makes me look fatter, but oh well. Today has been another long day at work, getting paid to do nothing. My boss has been gone since this morning, he had a meeting in Naples. Now he is on his way back. He should be here any minute. I basically had nothing to do but I just talked to him and he told me that he is bringing back some work for me to do. I guess thats cool. Its better than just eating shit here. I had to go to the cafeteria across the street to get a coffee because I was dozying off. Now I actually feel better, the miracles of coffee. This wig is giving me a slight headache but I cant take it off because I didnt comb my hair. Now that would be scary!

I hadnt mentioned it but the weirdest thing happened to me last week. This guy that I went to highschool with calls me and says he is liking looking for all the people he knew in highschool and he wants to go have lunch. I was so shocked to hear from him. I mean he was a year older than me so its been almost 5 years since then. I was shocked to hear from him but its cool now that we talked. I am thinking of going to lunch or dinner with him this week. I want to try to make it a big thing and invite other people that I am still in contact with to go also. I guess I am a little scared he might be some stalker or something. lol... I am just kidding. I hope! But yea I guess it would be cool to catch up with everyone again and see how they have been and what they are up to. I guess I will write about it if it goes down and actually happens.

This Saturday is my sister-in-law's baby shower and I still haven't gotten the present nor do I have the slightest clue what I will wear. I think I am just going to go to my sister's house and get something from her. That always works. lol... I wanted to wear something nice but dressy. But not too dressy. I dont want it to be shimmery or anything like that. We'll see how that goes.

Among other things I saw two movies recently: White Chicks (which was funny and cute) and Saved! (which was stupid). I didnt like it. I dont know. Any good movies anyone has seen recently? Need some tips. I wanted to go to the movies on Sunday to see Saw and the Grudge. Lets see if my boyfriend wants to go. Everyone has been saying that they are both scary and good. We'll see.
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Current Music:shakira
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Subject:my bosses birthday
Time:12:19 pm
Current Mood:tiredtired
Today is my bosses birthday. I have to be nice to him today. I got here on time so that was good. lol... He is somewhere working hard now. Poor guy--- even on his birthday he has to work. He works really hard but I guess that is why he makes so much money. I need a job where I make more money. I have so much debts. I am in a rut. It'll be ok because my honey bun always brightens up my day. ( how cheesy!) anyways, this saturday is my boyfriend's sister's baby shower. Awwww. Her belly is so big. She is having a little girl. I am so excited because she is due the day after ny birthday. Hopefully, the baby is born on my birthday. That would be awesome. I dont know. We will see what happens. I think she is going to name her Stephanie.

last night we cut a cake for joel (my boss) at the house. the group was there talking to a tv producer/ show host which is going to get them on his show. they are taping tommorrow and then will come out on local tv next sunday. they are excited about this possibility. also their promoter from puerto rico is coming down to miami because he wants to take them on a promotional tour in florida. more on how that goes later. I need my honey to become famous already.lol... no more bills....lol im just kidding. but he is really excited about his music. you know he loves it so i wish him the best.

i am trying to get on a diet to lose some pounds and work out. we'll see how i do with that. i am not too good at losing weight. I have to really focus on it and then maybe it will work out. i am hungry. i had mcdonalds for breakfast. that doesnt really help with the diet thing. oh well... it was damn good though. i want to eat soup or something. i will probably have a salad from mcdonalds for lunch. i am not a big salad fan but i dont know. we will see.
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Subject:blah blah blah
Time:08:45 am
Current Mood:draineddrained
I feel like blah today. I dont know. I guess I need to get more sleep. Ever since I started waking up early to get to work on time, I have been feeling tired. I hate getting to work on time. Blah! These past nights is has been a bit chilly. Its cool, more snuggle time with my honey. He is so awesome! Awwww. Work is going good. My boss left to Homestead today for some business so I have the office to myself. This is quite convenient since I have to finish a paper for my class that is due today. Yes I know, procrastinator! But its ok. I will get it done.

Today is my mother-in-law's (per say) birthday, she turns 53 today. I dont know what to get her. My honey has no creative ideas. Ahhhh! She was talking about some dress she wanted. I dont know where to get it so I think I am just going to get her some shoes. Thats the only thing I can think of. Plus I am going to buy some food so that she wont have to cook and we can all eat as a big happy family.lol... She is cool. So I dont mind doing something nice for her. She always is giving me gifts and stuff. I would feel kind f bad not getting her anything on her birthday. After work today I am on a mission to get her something. Hopefully and preferably something she likes.

My boyfriend's promoter for his band (that promotes them in Puerto Rico, where he resides) is coming down to Miami next week. He is going to get them on some television shows and radio. I will keep you updated as to where and how he did. He is really excited about that. He loves music so I am happy that his dreams are slowly becoming reality. I know they will do good. Seriously I love their music, its not just because he is my boyfriend. The band really does sound good.

Among other things, finances are down. I am doing so well monetarily. I have so many things to pay and so little money to pay them with. I will try to make do. No new things for me in a while. =( Life is hard when you are growing up.

In other news, the guy that fixed my hood from when I crashed. Yea, he sucks. He did a bad job so now I have to take it to someone else. Ahhhhh! I hate this.
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Subject:worried...
Time:11:36 am
Current Mood:exhaustedexhausted
I can honestly say that this week has not been a good one for me. I am really tired right now. My boss complained that I was coming late too often. (I know what you are thinking V, sorry, I can't help it. There is so much damn traffic). But oh well, now I have to get up at 6am in order to be at work ontime. Today I woke up at that time and it worked out fine. I even took the Palmetto to work, which saved me the tolls from the turnpike. I got here early enough to even get breakfast, so I am ok. I was so tired though when I woke up. But well you got to do what you got to do. Hopefully I won't be so sleepy at work. Need to have tons of coffee. Talking about coffee, since people are always making coffee at the house I have grown a slight addiction to it. I have to cut back. I dont like drinking so much coffee. But well I think at least some in the morning is going to be necessary to be up and about and able to work. I have to be able to think clearly at 8am.

Work today has been pretty slack. Haven't done anything. My boss has been in Naples the whole day. I had to have lunch by myself. So that was pretty boring. I have been reading things for my class. I had to take a break though because I was getting a slight headache from the Illiad. So much of that language can eventually get to you. But oh well. Some teachers are crazy. They give you so much stuff to do. I did alright in my first test-- I got an 84. So that was good. I have mid-terms next week so I have to study for those. Hopefully I will do ok.

I burned my tongue today drinking coffee. Ouch! That sucks. Now I have limited taste buds. My tongue feels all raspy. Yuck... I havent gone out in so long. I need to do something. Ahhhh. This weekend there is a party at my house. That will hoepfully be fun. Otherwise than that, I will be stuck studying and reading for class this weekend. As usual. My boss just got back so have to get to work!
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Subject:worried...
Time:11:36 am
Current Mood:exhaustedexhausted
I can honestly say that this week has not been a good one for me. I am really tired right now. My boss complained that I was coming late too often. (I know what you are thinking V, sorry, I can't help it. There is so much damn traffic). But oh well, now I have to get up at 6am in order to be at work ontime. Today I woke up at that time and it worked out fine. I even took the Palmetto to work, which saved me the tolls from the turnpike. I got here early enough to even get breakfast, so I am ok. I was so tired though when I woke up. But well you got to do what you got to do. Hopefully I won't be so sleepy at work. Need to have tons of coffee. Talking about coffee, since people are always making coffee at the house I have grown a slight addiction to it. I have to cut back. I dont like drinking so much coffee. But well I think at least some in the morning is going to be necessary to be up and about and able to work. I have to be able to think clearly at 8am.

Work today has been pretty slack. Haven't done anything. My boss has been in Naples the whole day. I had to have lunch by myself. So that was pretty boring. I have been reading things for my class. I had to take a break though because I was getting a slight headache from the Illiad. So much of that language can eventually get to you. But oh well. Some teachers are crazy. They give you so much stuff to do. I did alright in my first test-- I got an 84. So that was good. I have mid-terms next week so I have to study for those. Hopefully I will do ok.

I burned my tongue today drinking coffee. Ouch! That sucks. Now I have limited taste buds. My tongue feels all raspy. Yuck... I havent gone out in so long. I need to do something. Ahhhh. This weekend there is a party at my house. That will hoepfully be fun. Otherwise than that, I will be stuck studying and reading for class this weekend. As usual. My boss just got back so have to get to work!
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Subject:updates
Time:09:10 am
Current Mood:blankblank
So yea, things havent been that good lately. Classes are kicking my ass. Too much reading and stuff. Little by little I am trying to catch up. Hopefully it'll work out. I took my first test on Wednesday for my Comparitive Genocide class. Hopefully I did ok. It was pretty hard. A lot of writing. We did one full blown out essay and then 8 two paragraph answers. Ahhhh! My hand really hurt when I got out of that class. I dont know how I did. I think he will probably let us know today. He grades really hard though because he counts grammer. I dont think I made that many mistakes but we'll see. My other classes are going ok. I have to talk to some teachers. I am going to try to get everything squared away this week. I can only pray!

More bad news--- Last week I crashed someone from behind. It was my fault because I was eating shit looking to the right at someone that was telling me off for not giving her a chance. Oh well! She was laughing at me when I crashed. What a bitch! The old guy I crashed wasnt bad. Nothing happened to his car so he left and didnt call the cops or anything. At least I didnt get a ticket or anything. Thats awesome. But I did mess up my car in the hood and now I have to fix it tommorrow. They are charging me $100. I know its not that bad but it sucks. My brand new car. Ahhhh! I suck at driving. At least now I know to not look to the side and try to drive in traffic.

Yesterday my nana turned 102 years old. Awesome right. She is so cute. She looks so good for her age. She looks about 80 0r something. No joke. I think she is going to last another 10 or 20 years. Lol... No but for real she looks good. She hasnt been feeling that good lately but overall she is in good shape. No health problems, which at her age is a def plus. My grandmother which is 83 has so much more health problems and the such. Its crazy how someone could last so long.

Talking about the LSAT, I didnt take it this Saturday. I am taking it Dec 4th. I now have to request a refund. I totally got jipped though. They only refund $40 out of the $112 I had to pay for the test. But well something is better than nothing. I decided to take it in Dec because I wasnt ready. I have been studying but I dont want to take it if I dont feel comfortable. So I will keep everyone updated.

V--- I hope things work out with the job. Good luck with that. Take care.
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Bang Bang -- Tales of a Life Caught on the Verge of Insanity (but the good kind)
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